A night at the office
by edwardelricisshort3
Summary: one night ed and roy are having a fight, like thats never happened before at the military place were they both work. Finally they agree that it's stupid, and when they turn to leave, Roy calls Ed short causing Ed to hit him and drop the key down the sink
1. Chapter 1

A night at the office

A night at the office

Chapter 1

Disclaimer:I do not own full metal alchemist…which really sucks! But then again if did it would be really bad…(crying in a corner with gloom lines)

3rd of May 7:33 am:

"What the hell?" An orange headed man said, "What the fg hell? "What the hell happened to the building fg building!!

Suddenly a Black dog jumped out of the hands of someone who I will now call Riza Hawkeye because its just SO much easier!

"Black Hayate! What are you doing?" Riza Hawkeye asked to no avail.

"Riza, what's the point of asking a dog that?" Jean Havoc asked.

She ignored and followed her dog to the half blown up door.

"What is it Hayate?" Hayate had an intent look on his face, Riza recognized that face from when she was tracking down his doggy biscuits.

"The door's jammed." Jean said, "It's to badly damaged to open."

"Jean, take Hayate and stand back"

"What, wh-?"

BOOM!!

"What the- did you just let off a- do you no how much they- you could of killed-?

The sudden shouting from upstairs drowned of the rest of his words: "Oh yeah I'd like to see you say that down here!!

"Yeah sure, whatever! You cant even walk or use alchemy!"

"Yeah and who's fault was that!! Besides I could kick your arse like this anyway!

"Like to see you try!!"

"If your not afraid why are you standing on the table??"

"Hey doesn't that sound like-…"

3rd of May 7:35:

"What the hell are you doing on the table"?! Riza shouted? Just as Jean shouted:

What the hell happened to your automail?

"Ask him" Edward Elric and Roy Mustang said together


	2. Chapter 2

A Night At The Office

A Night At The Office

-Chapter 2-

2nd of May 9:44 pm:

"What do you mean "No"?!" A short man wearing a red coat to large for him.

"I mean what it sounds like." Said a taller black-hared man with an evil sort of smirk on his face.

"Why? Its just one and a half million…." He trailed off for just a second but no matter how short the gap is Roy Mustang could easily pick up them slightest falter on Edwards part. "…Sens!:" He finished.

"I still don't understand why one would one would need a car before they need a licence."

"I'm getting a licence tomorrow you jackass!!" Edward said, not trying to keep the venom out of his voice.

"You no I could fire you for that…"

"NO!!" Edward roared "Anything but that!!"

"Besides why cant you by yourself one? You get-…" A car honked its horn, "…Sens a year"

"You said that you'd by me whatever car I like for my birthday!!"

"It's your birthday?"

"Ah ha…"

"When did I say that?"

"Yesterday you moron!!"

"Yes well you see I was a little bit drunk then so I can understand if you thought I-…"

"You said exactly that!!"

"…Shit…."

"Buy me a car!!"

"No!!"

"Hmm…OK!"

"That was easy."

"Buy me two!"

"NO!!"

"Why not??"

"Cause I don't wanna!!

"Gimme a car!!"

"No!!"

Conveniently Alphonse decided to walk into Roy's office just as they were about to kill each other:

"Umm, brother…?"

Now you can't blame him for asking what was happening: Ed had kicked Roy in the shins making him stumble and fall on an even eye level, Roy had put his had into Ed's mouth, and, knowing that he couldn't make sparks, had shoved a match in too.

"FRIGYTEHING" Edward said but owing to the hand, which had, now taken up residence in his mouth, didn't quite pronounce it properly as well as causing him to swallow the match.

"Arrrggghhhh!! The pain!!" Edward coughed.

Of course what he had intended to say was "fighting"

"Umm what did you say brother?

"(Cough cough) Oh the pain…. (Cough cough) I (Cough) said (wheeze) fighting… (Dying painfully)"

"Umm, Wright well, Ill leave you to it then and see you back at the flat." And then he left.

"Well he sure took that well"

Roy mustang said slowly.

"Yeah your write… maybe the writer of this Fan. Fic. just decided it would take to long if they made us persuade him to go….?"

"Nah, not a chance! Hey what's the time?"

"Ten o'clock why?"

"Oh shit!"

"What's the mater?"

"I've got a date at ten!!"

"You're stuffed."

"Yeah I could have figured that out on my own, thank you very much!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Where is it?"

"The restaurant across.. the…road…"

"Then if you leave now you can make it can't you?"

"Good point…"

The Flame Alchemist reached into his pocket for a key, finding one he went to step outside of his office when tripped over somebody's foot (I wonder who's) and fell flat on his face.

"You sure are clumsy Mustang!" Edward chuckled.

"Ha, ha" Roy Mustang said sarcastically, When suddenly, his face froze.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked.

"I've dropped the key…" Roy mustang said the fear easily detectable in his face.

"Oh fu…"

-End of chapter two-

Hope you liked it! And as my sister says: "Reviews make the world go round"

Any suggestions are welcome but Spam makes me cry.

I'll try to update soon!


	3. Chapter 3

A Night At The Office

A Night At The Office

-Chapter 3-

The Flame Alchemist reached into his pocket for a key, finding one he went to step outside of his office when tripped over somebody's foot (I wonder who's) and fell flat on his face.

"You sure are clumsy Mustang!" Edward chuckled.

"Ha, ha" Roy Mustang said sarcastically, When suddenly, his face froze.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked.

"I've dropped the key…" Roy mustang said the fear easily detectable in his face.

"Oh fu…"

"This is all your fault!!"

"What?! How is this may fault?!"

"You tripped me!!"

"Yeah, and you dropped the key!"

"Because you tripped me you-…" Roy trailed off, "Hey, you know that this means were both trapped here."

"Yeah-wate-what-why-that-no-wh-wa-oh-this-no-oh crap!!" Ed mumbled.

"Yeah I no-…." Roy suddenly froze. "Don't move!!"

"What? Why? Why?" Ed said with his leg in the.

"Your about to step on the key!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, don't move!"

Roy moved in bit closer to Ed's leg, while Ed continued to stand with one leg in the air looking like a dog trying to pee. Roy moved in closer, and then finally when his hand was just hovering above the key under Ed's foot…(well you can imagine what happens next)

"OW!! Shit you broke my finger!!"

"But on the plus side you got back the key!"

"You fg bitch!! "I'll fg burn your arse off!!

"That was a bit rude Colonel."

"My hand hurts!!"

And with that he clicked his fingers creating a small fireball blasting Edward back into a wall.

--

"Well I guess that would explain your shirt." Jean Havoc said commenting on Eds burnt and tattered shirt.

"Shut up and let us tell the story!!" Roy mustang shouted, sitting in an armchair that had been badly damaged by alchemy, at the same time as Ed who was sitting down on the couch holding the only remnants of his broken automail, a toe, shouted, "yeah, colonel!!"

"Ow," Edward said, picking himself up from the heap of rubble, which was once Colonel Mustangs office wall.

"You jer-…" Just as he said that another fireball went whizzing past his head, exploded behind him and sent him spluttering onto the floor.

"Wha-wha-wha-what the hell colonel!?" The colonel stopped, picked up something off the floor, dusted himself off, and turned to go, muttering something like "That's for the hand."

"You're not getting away that easily!!" Roy turned around just in time to see Edwards fist collide into his face, sending stumbling backwards into a nearby window, cracking it and nocking it out f it's frame causing to fall 6 floors down to the ground and shatter into a thousand little pieces.

"You're paying for that." Edward said.

"Why you little-…" Roys face turned from a face of rage to a face of horror. "Oh dear!"

"What's wrong?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- d-d-d-dropped th-th-th-the k-key out the window!!"

"You what??"

"WELL IT'S YOUR FALT!!"

"I wouldn't have hit you is you hadn't hit me!"

"And I wouldn't have hit you if you hadn't stepped on my hand!"

"And I wouldn't have stepped on your hand if you hadn't put a match down my throat!! So really it's your fault!

And so they continued turning each other into punching bags.

--

"Wait a second threes something I still don't get." Jean Havoc stated.

"Well that wasn't hard!" Roy Mustang said, angrily. "Okay what's the problem?" He asked irritably.

"Why didn't you just use Alchemy to unlock the door, or even disintegrate it or even-…" He said in an undertone. "Blow it up if you're the Colonel."

"HEY SHUT UP YOU-…" The Colonel said angrily, before getting interrupted by the Fullmetal Alchemist: "The reason we couldn't get out by using Alchemy on the door, or wall for that matter, was that when I tried to unlock it, It rebounded and took apart my right arm." Edward said.

"That still doesn't explain why the Colonel couldn't just blow it up." Hawkeye said.

"The Colonel was just to chicken to try."

"THAT"S NOT TRUE!!"

"It is so!!"

"It is not!!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!!

"Just tell us what happened next." Riza said quickly before either of the two alchemists could say anything else.

-END OF CHAPTER 3-

HOPED YOU LIKED IT!!

AS ALWAYS PLEASE REVIEW AND SPAM MAKES ME CRY!

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK LADYASILE AND HOWLES PRINCESS-LOVES-EDWARD-ROY FOR REVEWING AND I'LL TRY TO UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN!!


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